The Predicament…

It seems that at least once every year, something occurs or happens in my life which makes me doubt the path i’m on…

Sometimes its something not that serious and sometimes its something big which has a massive impact, but either way theres always something.. when am I going to be so content with life that I never have to decide where I should be going or what I should be doing next!

Just over a year ago, I decided to go self employed, start my own I.T company, I had all these aspirations of being a successful businessmen and making lots of money and being one of the leader I.T providers in the UK at least.

I had it all worked out, a plan, a dream. I was still doing karate every now and again and still in the early stages of doing dance which was, back then, still just a small time hobby. I guess you could say then, I was content, content with life, I knew where I was going. Then it all changed and i’m almost certain for the better. I’m not going to go over old ground because the next bit is detailed thoroughly in the posts before, but when I was introduced to the world of musical theatre, something clicked which suddenly changed the priority of my dream, my ambition, my wish to be a ‘leading IT provider’. You might be wondering how the hell you can suddenly just drop the idea of something like that so quickly, but the satisfaction of doing musical theatre, performing on stage, is in a completely different league to anything else I have ever done, ever experienced that now suddenly, thats all I want to do.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are aspects to my job, my business which are still satisfying, I haven’t given up all hope, I still enjoy getting the nice big cheques through from genuine hard work that I have put in. But the value of this feeling, has drastically dropped. Why can’t everyone in this world do something they enjoy all day long and reap the rewards? I don’t know myself but I do know that I want it. Thats my dream now, I want to do something day in day out that I love and get the satisfaction out of which makes me content with life. That in my eyes, is one or all of three things, dancing, singing and acting. Someone said to me today ‘its great but its never going to pay the bills’, it wasn’t the only time someones said this to me. But it does pay the bills for some people, why can’t that be me.

The predicament is how can I make it pay the bills, how do I achieve my dream. How do I leave my IT business and pursue something which truely makes me happy?